What running does to a person..

I could not help but observe all the magic that relatively simple and undemanding thing like running can do. It helped with the syndrome of cold feet(..., and cold hands), insomnia, weight, strength and stamina. Plus I finally felt like I was alive.
The terrible part of this story is that as soon as I have made a few-day pause(debate tournament), old issues started to reappear - especially the insomniac part of me was awakened. So it seems that running is not just a pleasure or simply a physical activity that everyone should engage in from time to time, but it also became a necessity for me.

I am not sure how to describe this without sounding hypocritical/unable to see myself in the mirror..

Politeness is a value put aside these days. Even those, who claim that they abide by its rules, often seem to forget, what is polite and what is not.
In discussions about current affairs, political situation, possible changes or laws proposed etc., be it in the debating club, a coffee place or in a pub, it is ok to disagree, let the other party know about that and argue passionately about the aspects of the issue.
However when it comes to normal every-day interactions, I get (not sure how to describe the feeling exactly) disgruntled by other people´s need to attack the views of the other person/insist on knowing 100% that someone is wrong/knowing what is right for them and the others etc. Even when talking about some book or a movie, it is rather unnecessary to engage in a conflict - instead of saying "I know you are wrong", why don´t people bother to try to go for the more agreeable "I think it happened differently/In my opinion the zombies tried to eat the heroin´s head because she reminded them of the father that molested them/I don´t think she has apologized for her actions...".
It might sound very weird coming from me, since (at least to some) I seem to be an angry person, who argues about everything. If that is the case, I am sorry for being annoying and/or overbearing.

Self-destructive

This time I kept running faster and faster, until it hurt, until I was no longer able to think about stuff. Even better - my body is going to ache all over tomorrow. So from productive and healthy back to self-destructive and procrastinating.

Sčítání

--Original Message--
From: xxxxx@seznam.cz
Date: 13.3.2011 12:03:41
To: info@scitani.cz
Subject:

Dobry den,
bydlim na Xxxxxxxx xxxx/xx, Praha 5, 155 00 a vubec nam do schranky neprislo oznameni o tom, kdy k nam scitaci komisar prijde. Mohl/a byste mi prosim napsat, kde ziskam formular pro scitani?
S pozdravem
Kristyna Blazkova

16.4. 2011, 15:57

Dobrý den,

Při zpětné kontrole systémů elektronické pošty jsme nedohledali notifikaci, že Vám byla doručena odpověď na Váš dotaz zaslaný na info@scitani.cz.

Při kontrole bylo zjištěno, že v době kdy jste posílal váš e-mail, došlo v průběhu přechodu na nové technické zařízení k technickému problému, následkem čehož Vám nemusela být doručena odpověď na Váš dotaz.

Přijměte prosím naši omluvu za způsobené problémy.

S pozdravem
Petra Gazdíková CC SLD

Kočí

"Vím, že mě odposlouchávají, tak řeknu přesně to, z čeho mě oponenti podezřívají, abych jim vypálila rybník!"
Logika paní Kočí je opravdu nad mé chápání...
Česká politika je nad mé chápání
Česká média jsou nad mé chápání.

Jde o spor o ministerstvo vnitra a ODS je zjevně schopná zajít strašně daleko, aby ho získala. Musí se strašně bát buď kostlivců ve skříni, nebo ztráty koryt, moci a vlivu. Aktuálně se ale potápí sama. Možná i proto, že si za spojence vybrala blondýnu.

Few days ago, I bragged about being mature and confident enough not to share every detail of my life online, seeking validation from others. I am not. I am proud of myself for going running every day for the past 3,5 weeks and I want other people to know how fabulous I am:-)

Bárta založil ABL. Bárta je ve VV. Takže VV=ABL.
John je ve VV. ABL=VV. Takže John je spojený s ABL.
ABL je firma. VV jsou strana. VV=ABL. Takže ABL chce získat politickou moc přes VV.
VV se snaží získat politickou moc přes VV. VV mají ministerstva. Takže ABL získá zakázky ministerstev VV.
Kdokoliv z VV je ABL. VV mají ze své strany vybrat ministry nespojené s ABL. Takže Hlava XXII.
Do I even need to analyze the logical and factual flaws in this?

Potupa

Málo jsem tušila, že koupě bot se promění v ponížení. Vešla jsem plna očekávání do obchodu a jala se kochat mnohými krásnými běžeckými botami hrajících všemi barvami. Ale všechny mi přišly veliké. Pak jsem ale spatřila ty velikostí nejlépe odpovídající a zajásala jsem. Ukázalo se ale, že bota je dětská. Hmm. Oficiálně jsem byla zařazena mezi děti a Anička se mi celou cestu smála. Stejně jako prodavačka, která byla zjevně pobavena tím, že mi akorát byla ona maličká botka pro malé atlety.

Jogging is fun

Je skvělý pocit, když člověka přestane bolet každý další krok a může konečně pořádně běžet. Vzdálenosti, které se zdály být nemožnými, jsou překonány a laťka se posunuje. Noční můry z 1,5 km v hodině tělocviku na střední se zdají najednou býti vskutku směšnými. Jen kdyby se nezačaly ozývat klouby(kolena a kotníky). Asi se mi mé staré tělo snaží říct, že bych měla pořídit běžecké boty(ne obyč tenisky, ve kterých běhám teď). Anebo, že je na čase začít holdovat chrupavkám. Tak či tak, chci běhat dáááál!

Decision to start jogging every day was definitely the right one. It might actually solve all my problems, from insomnia to low blood pressure and fatigue. But I should have started slowly. After jogging every day for four days, my legs are sore and I can barely walk without looking like a crippled person.. Even though waking up an hour early just to go jogging before leaving to spend the whole day at the lab, made me feel like the hip modern woman who does it all. I want to experience that feeling again, but I should probably wait for my (almost non-existent) muscles to heal.

Sometimes the mind does what it wants without taking the heart into consideration. It wanders into the land of memories, of things long gone. Thinking about the what ifs and the maybes is painful for so many reasons, but the mind does it anyway. Sometimes, like right now, it is when I am conscious, sometimes it is during the so-valued sleep. I am not sure which is worse. When it happens when I am awake but I get the opportunity to overcome these thoughts by sleeping or when I am not in control and I cannot really blame myself for dreaming, but thoughts considered in sleep linger in my mind all of the following day?

It all seems so stupid
It makes me want to give up
But why should I give up
When it all seems so stupid
(DM)

When at least 3 people independently reach the conclusion that I have the same gestures, the same way of expressing myself like the bad actress from Twilight, it makes me wanna shoot myself. Kristýna is not Kristen and I am not waiting for a handsome vampire. How does one change her gestures?

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
________________________________________________________________________

I should finally give up on the naive idea that friendship between men and women is possible. The evidence to the contrary is mounting and can no longer be ignored.

Romance for new millenium

As we got used to the omnipresent sex, we are also changing our views on what constitutes a romance. At least that´s my impression of the current trends in movies. After Love and Other Drugs, No Strings Attached is opening this week and there are many more movies that make us think that the true romance is having casual sex and then realizing that you love each other. Hmm. 1 - it does not work that way 2 - sex is great, don´t get me wrong, but is this kind of a movie really a romance? Carrie asks in one episode of SATC if women in New York got used to living in a sugar-free existence meaning that they would not know romance if it was standing right in front of them. Maybe this now applies to all women and men in the Western society.
After reading what I have just written I am realizing that maybe I am an old-fashioned gal and a prude even though so many people(e.g. Muslims) on this planet would consider me a whore. Hmm.

Song that says everything about my mood today.

A, B, C, D, E

So A tells B that C is making D to move to a different country, B asks C if he is being fair to D, C asks D if he really wants to move, D says he does and he tells A that B told C, A asks B if she told C, B says she did, but did not mention A in any way, C and D just assumed that A was involved, B says to C that D told A that B told C that A and B might have concerns about D moving, which is not exactly what B said, C offers to show B the mail conversation with D to prove that he is not pushing D to move, B says that there is really no need and points out that this circle of A, B, C and D is kinda funny.
C then asks B about what she wrote to E, because E asked C if he knows about it. C replied to E that he does not know anything and calls B to ask what it is all about. B ensures C that what she wrote to E is between her and E and did not include C in any way. C is curious about what B wrote to E. B does not share that with C. E told C it was very angry and mean. C says that E needed to hear that, whatever it was that B wrote. B is confused by C wanting B to be mean to E, D and A being good friends, E telling C about what B wrote and assuming C knows about it, A, C, D and E chatting all the time and the complicated relations between all 5.

Facebook friends mystery

What puzzled me in the past week was the varying number of my Facebook friends. I would get that it decreases from time to time, since someone who you met years ago no longer wants to share their life with you and removes you from freinds. I do that to other people and I assume that other people do that to me(even though for some reason there is no notification for that). But that is not the reason why I was confused. What surprised me, was that the number of my friends grew without me approving any friend requests. How do you explain that one, huh?

Frozen in time?

Somehow it feels like when you are making a new acquaintance you set the rules in stone and they cannot be changed. You create relationship roles, patterns of behaviour, you get to know the person, well at least who that person is at that moment in time. But for some reason we don´t really notice the changes that people around us go through. Some people may think that a person can never change, but I don´t believe that is correct. It might not be an earth-shattering 180 degree transformation, but it is a pity that we generally don´t notice the small and yet important things that are different. For some reason we get stuck in time without the ability to change our perception of someone.

Funny, just as Valentine´s approaches every year, things turn to shit. You break up, you find out that the person you spent your time with has lied and/or was/is a jerk, indifference might turn into anger, you start thinking that all men are shit, which is unfair to all the good guys out there and to the lucky women who found them/were found by them.
I somehow see couples everywhere(maybe it´s just the fact that I think about it more) and I can´t find the right words that would describe the way I feel about that. It might be a combination of being happy for them, being so jealous of them while at the same time being happy with being single, plus maybe some anger at being made feel like the odd one out, which I actually am.
Somehow being an optimist gets easier with age though. I have always thought it would be the other way round. So, as I see the hearts and the red everywhere around me, I stay positive and believe in the good in people, even though this might just be the time of the year, when this turns into the hardest thing ever.