Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is — and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form — is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry: Guess not.
________________________________________________________________________

I should finally give up on the naive idea that friendship between men and women is possible. The evidence to the contrary is mounting and can no longer be ignored.

Romance for new millenium

As we got used to the omnipresent sex, we are also changing our views on what constitutes a romance. At least that´s my impression of the current trends in movies. After Love and Other Drugs, No Strings Attached is opening this week and there are many more movies that make us think that the true romance is having casual sex and then realizing that you love each other. Hmm. 1 - it does not work that way 2 - sex is great, don´t get me wrong, but is this kind of a movie really a romance? Carrie asks in one episode of SATC if women in New York got used to living in a sugar-free existence meaning that they would not know romance if it was standing right in front of them. Maybe this now applies to all women and men in the Western society.
After reading what I have just written I am realizing that maybe I am an old-fashioned gal and a prude even though so many people(e.g. Muslims) on this planet would consider me a whore. Hmm.

Song that says everything about my mood today.

A, B, C, D, E

So A tells B that C is making D to move to a different country, B asks C if he is being fair to D, C asks D if he really wants to move, D says he does and he tells A that B told C, A asks B if she told C, B says she did, but did not mention A in any way, C and D just assumed that A was involved, B says to C that D told A that B told C that A and B might have concerns about D moving, which is not exactly what B said, C offers to show B the mail conversation with D to prove that he is not pushing D to move, B says that there is really no need and points out that this circle of A, B, C and D is kinda funny.
C then asks B about what she wrote to E, because E asked C if he knows about it. C replied to E that he does not know anything and calls B to ask what it is all about. B ensures C that what she wrote to E is between her and E and did not include C in any way. C is curious about what B wrote to E. B does not share that with C. E told C it was very angry and mean. C says that E needed to hear that, whatever it was that B wrote. B is confused by C wanting B to be mean to E, D and A being good friends, E telling C about what B wrote and assuming C knows about it, A, C, D and E chatting all the time and the complicated relations between all 5.

Facebook friends mystery

What puzzled me in the past week was the varying number of my Facebook friends. I would get that it decreases from time to time, since someone who you met years ago no longer wants to share their life with you and removes you from freinds. I do that to other people and I assume that other people do that to me(even though for some reason there is no notification for that). But that is not the reason why I was confused. What surprised me, was that the number of my friends grew without me approving any friend requests. How do you explain that one, huh?

Frozen in time?

Somehow it feels like when you are making a new acquaintance you set the rules in stone and they cannot be changed. You create relationship roles, patterns of behaviour, you get to know the person, well at least who that person is at that moment in time. But for some reason we don´t really notice the changes that people around us go through. Some people may think that a person can never change, but I don´t believe that is correct. It might not be an earth-shattering 180 degree transformation, but it is a pity that we generally don´t notice the small and yet important things that are different. For some reason we get stuck in time without the ability to change our perception of someone.

Funny, just as Valentine´s approaches every year, things turn to shit. You break up, you find out that the person you spent your time with has lied and/or was/is a jerk, indifference might turn into anger, you start thinking that all men are shit, which is unfair to all the good guys out there and to the lucky women who found them/were found by them.
I somehow see couples everywhere(maybe it´s just the fact that I think about it more) and I can´t find the right words that would describe the way I feel about that. It might be a combination of being happy for them, being so jealous of them while at the same time being happy with being single, plus maybe some anger at being made feel like the odd one out, which I actually am.
Somehow being an optimist gets easier with age though. I have always thought it would be the other way round. So, as I see the hearts and the red everywhere around me, I stay positive and believe in the good in people, even though this might just be the time of the year, when this turns into the hardest thing ever.

The Rules?

When it comes to relationships, there are few rules that are to be followed. One of them is that if you date one guy and you break up, you don´t start dating his friend. But what if you were never really officially in a relationship with the first guy, what if they are not close friends but rather acquaintances, what if... Can you break a rule without being the bitch who walks over people?
On an unrelated note - is it ok to make a relationship prejudice based on past experience with a specimen of the kind? Like if you dated let´s say a guy who liked fishing and he hurt you in the end(let´s say with a fish hook), can you make a rule of not dating fishermen? Well, of course you can do that, but is it ok? Then what do you do when you meet a cute and witty guy who asks you out, but also likes fishing?

Trpěla jsem pocitem, že žít bez internetu je strašné utrpení. Proto si dovedete představit, jak mě zaskočilo, když se můj laptop rozhodnul úplně umřít. Po asi šestém pokusu o zapnutí a šestém setkání se s černou obrazovkou jsem snahu vzdala a zavolala příteli na telefonu, který měl ale čas na opravu až večer. A tak jsem byla odsouzena ke dni bez počítače.
Neb nemám jiný přehrávač hudby, než laptop, byla jsem nucela vytáhnout rádio a poslouchat celý den hudbu z něj. Což bylo ještě docela ok, vzhledem k existenci Rádia Beat.
Překvapilo mě, kolik věcí člověk stihne udělat, pokud neexistuje možnost jen tak odskočit k počítači. Kromě dokonalého úklidu svého pokoje jsem zvládla nastříhat pexeso, otřít listy kytkám, přišít několik knoflíků, několik hodin v kuse jsem četla(což se mi kupodivu poslední dobou vůbec nedařilo), uvařila jsem si teplé jídlo, roztřídila poznámky z dvou a půl let studia, vyluštila dvě křížovky... Den bez počítače tak nakonec měl velice pozitivní bilanci. Budu si ho muset udělat častěji!

Never ever date a foreigner unless you are sure that(in this order):
-he wants to stay a while
-he has applied for the long-term visa(he won´t have to leave after 3 months and stay out of the country and the EU for the next 3 months)
-he is worth the increased risk of you getting hurt (and the ugly comments you get from people you meet)
Skipping steps number two and three is not worth it.

She's lonely
And he says
It's for her only
That he lusts
She doesn't trust him
Nothing is true
But he will do

Things that I ve never before hated so much:
-stupid immigration laws of the Czech Republic and the EU respectively
-people who do not do enough research to be able to deal with the stupid immigration laws on time
-the fact that I have actually cried/actually cry

So I went out with M the other night. We were sitting at a table in a bar, talking about all sorts of random stuff. He has just started telling me a story when a group of three or four sits at the next table. One of them, a Czech, a guy, stops M in the middle of a sentence and starts giving him shit about how being a foreigner does not mean he is cool and how he should not be talking, but rather listening to me, to what I say. (Just to be clear, we were having a normal conversation, he was just telling a story and there was no reason to interfere. Even if there were, it still would not be any of his business, but there wasn´t.)
The comments of that guy make me so pissed that I want to leave. M goes to pay the bill by the bar. I am sitting at the table, alone for a moment. The Czech guy starts offering me drinks. I send him to hell. I leave with M.
Yes, that guy was a random jerk. Yes, I should not care about any of that. But it got me pissed and sad and depressed. I started looking at everything with scepticism and disbelief. Now I feel like I am tired and do not want to stay in a thing that I did not even define. I am not sure if it is just being sad and it will pass or if it will linger. Hmm.

New Year. The time for evaluating the past and thinking about the future. Deciding what is it that you want and then getting it. Hmm.
I am stuck in the moment that I can´t get out of.
I have no good reason to continue doing what I am doing but I also don´t have a reason enough to stop.

On gold diggers or what happened to me a month ago..

When on a date with a foreigner one gets all sorts of weird comments. Czech people feel like when the person is not able to understand them, they can say whatever they want. Anything goes. But what really got me was the following situation.
We were sitting at a table with his friends(American and Spanish) and their Czech/Slovak girlfriends. What surprised me was the fact that the girlfriends spoke in Czech/Slovak only, did not even bother to try to be a part of the general conversation. And what they discussed struck me even more - they were stating their reasons for hanging out with Americans - possibly getting a green card, going on fancy dates, having a rich boyfriend(they presumed that any American is rich), getting English lessons for free etc. None of them even mentioned actually liking the guy. One girl used to go out with one American and when they broke up she found another one to go out with. Not because he was handsome, intelligent and/or funny, but because he was from the States.
I didn´t get it at all and I had not been more ashamed of my fellow Czechs in a long long time..

What should a relationship look like?
Weird, that I should even be asking that question. I should have that all figured out by now, right? But I don´t. Is the relationship supposed to make you feel relaxed, make you not worry about anything, make you be able to not think and just enjoy yourself? And is it enough if you´re getting all that without feeling deeper emotional connection, without really getting to know the person and the person getting to know you, without feeling that tiny little bit of admiration that you need to be able to love that person?
Which makes me wonder about the need to define a relationship. What if you realize that you no longer need or even want to know the label that fits best? Because you don´t want it to be a relationship anymore and at the same time you don´t want to be the slut that does not need the thing to be exclusive or is not able to make the man make the commitment. I would call that the trap of modern times. It is no longer considered immoral to be casual but people will still judge you and think less of you if you do that.

Debata mě naučila, že definice jsou zcela zásadní. Ať už člověk začíná cokoliv, měl by se ujistit, že je všem zúčastněným jasné, co jednotlivé pojmy znamenají, co je co. Jasné definice často působí v debatě problém, jeden má pocit, že význam je jiný, než jak ho bere druhý.. Ve vědecké práci, v debatě a u spousty dalších věcí je i proto potřeba udělat ve věcech jasno a nastavená pravidla k tomu ve své podstatě každého nutí. Kéž by to pokaždé bylo tak jednoduché.

Sníh ve městě?

Spousta lidí nemá rádo sníh ve městě, především asi proto, že se mění ve břečku rychlostí blesku. Když se ale zadaří a zároveň se sněžením příjde ochlazení, sníh netaje, netvoří se mokrá břečka, ale spíš hromady sněhu, kterými se je potřeba brodit. Na domech, stromech a všude okolo zůstává krásný sněhový koberec, jako v nějaké zimní pohádce. And I just can´t get enough!

Things I like that I also consider cheating

When a song I love appears in a movie I am watching and it makes me like the movie much more.
When I eat 7 of my grandmas dumplings after I have found that I lost weight.
When I sleep in instead of going to a lecture.

"Milovat se se ženou a spát se ženou jsou dvě odlišné vášně. Nejen rozličné ale i protikladné. Láska se neprojevuje touhou po styku, což zahrnuje nekonečné množství žen, ale touhou po sdíleném spánku, touha omezená na jednu ženu." Kundera
Proč nikdo nepředpokládá opak? To, že by žena mohla mít problém usnout s mužem a to dokonce i takovým, kterého má ráda. V každém správném cliche je to muž, který zanechává usnuvší ženu a vytrácí se, ale co když je to naopak? Co když žena ne nechce, ale skoro nemůže spánek sdílet?

Malichernosti

V běžném životě se člověk čas od času setká poprvé se situací nikterak vyjímečnou, která ho stejně určitým způsobem zaskočí. Na doporučení šílené doktorky Dany Diamantové(dermatoložky) jsem se o prázdninách konečně odhodlala nechat do sebe říznout a rozebrat kousky sebe aka odstranit tři znamínka. Objednala jsem se tedy na zákrok, což bylo možné nejdřív za 4 měsíce. Ok, tak tedy za 4 měsíce. Nic tak dlouho dopředu sice neplánuju, ale když to muselo být.
V úterý jsem se vydala do nemocnice v Olomouci na tento v podstatě banální zákrok. Nebyla jsem si jistá, jestli budou mé kroky směřovat na chirurgii nebo na kožní, ale doufala jsem, že mi na vrátnici poradí stejně jako vždy v minulosti. Na místě jsem ale byla lehce zaskočena skutečností, že vrátnice zmizela a jediné informační středisko je na chirurgii. Existovala šance, že tam stejně jdu, tak jsem si řekla, proč ne. Bohužel jsem odtamtud nakonec byla odeslána na kliniku chorob kožních a pohlavních(na zcela jiném konci areálu).
Po vstupu jsem si během pár okamžiků připomněla některé neduhy českého zdravotnictví-pacienti odevzdaně čekající dlouhé minuty až hodiny než na ně přijde řada, sestřičky v lepším případě pořvávaly na pacienty přes chodby, v tom horším je seřvávaly za to, že s sebou nepřinesli pero(můj případ), nebo si dovolili přistoupit k objednávacímu okýnku aniž byli vyzváni(opět já).
Samotný zákrok trval asi 15 minut, což bylo super, nebolelo nic, paní doktorka byla skvělá. Jen mě zaskočilo několik detailů - souhlas se zákrokem a zároveň i to, že jsem byla seznámena se vším, co zákrok obnáší, jsem podepisovala kus před tím, než jsem se s doktorkou vůbec potkala. Podrobné seznámení se se zákrokem proběhlo víceméně v průběhu výkonu(kvůli mým zvědavým otázkám) a ve většině po něm. Při zákroku jsem zcela nesmyslně musela být vysvlečená do spodního prádla, což dávalo smysl u horní části těla, ale ne u dolní a i při té čtvrthodině mi byla dost zima. Na vytahování stehů se se mnou domlouvali zatímco jsem se polonahá potácela k židli s věcmi, všechno ve spěchu, neb do sálu už vcházela další pacientka. Atd.
Ke své hrůze jsem se dozvěděla, že se operovaná místa(to zní lehce jako hyperbola) nesmí minimálně týden namočit. Nějak jsem to možná tušila, ale nechtělo se mi věřit, že bude potřeba si týden, tedy celých 7 dní nemýt vlasy. Jsem asi příliš cimprlich, ale je to pro mě dost utrpení. Vyhýbám se lidem(díkybohu angína mi pro to dala legitimnější důvod, jinak bych se musela ke své malichernosti přiznat) a nevycházím z domu.
Což mě vede k úvaze o tom, kdy jsem naposledy za posledních řekněme 5 let vydržela víc než 3 dny bez umytí vlasů, makeupu, vyjití z domu atd. Asi jsem víc závislá na výdobytcích civilizace než jsem si myslela.