Fear

Fear is a good instinct. Our ancestors needed it to survive and modern man probably isn't all that different. Just the things we fear have changed. Or have they?
We may have that instant fear when a passing car almost hits us or when there is a weird guy following us on our way home in the middle of the night. We fear that either we, or those we care about, might get hurt, accidentally or by someone's purposeful action. So we look twice before crossing the street and we take a pepper spray when going out and we hope that people we care about do the same. We take precautions to diminish the threat. Or make ourselves believe that it did.
Then there is the kind of fear that is paralyzing - when we find out that death is real and that it may soon take someone we love. There is not much we can do, we just have to wait and see. Fear is combined with helplessness, the worst kind of fear there is.
And then there are those fears that concern day-to-day stuff. We fear that we will lose something valuable, fail an exam, get rejected, never see the Sun rising over Mount Fuji, what have you.. Fears that are probably not very helpful, but that we can't seem to shake off. Because they are fears of habit.
So, some fear is good, but fear that paralyzes, prevents us from acting, from doing things we want to do, that is the kind of fear we should try to shake off.

In good friendships one is used to a certain kind of communication. Usually very few if any topics are off limits. You share what you think, who you are, what you experienced, what you want and hope for. Then the communication changes and you don't share anything serious anymore and you just talk about the weather. You can't really pinpoint the problem and you are not sure what has happened, yet something has shifted, moved out of its place. You would like it to go back, but you don't know if it ever will, since you are not certain about the core of the problem or if there even is one. With a lot of issues, it can be solved by talking it out, but with some, talking won't help. Sometimes things go back to normal, but what if they don't?

Our personality is like a complex structure. During adulthood the base remains the same, parts are adjustable, some motifs are similar to motifs we see in others, some are unique. If we looked at the structure from above, we would see very complex and yet very simple mechanisms. But from time to time, that structure is so flooded with emotion of one kind or the other that all the logic, the laws of physics suddenly become irrelevant. Only some small parts keep peeping out of the water, suggesting that there is some sense beneath the overpowering current. And once the flood is over, we see that the base remained, maybe even some of the upper layers stayed in place, but that we will need to rebuild a lot. Figure out how to make our system function once again. Should we try preventing the emotion from getting inside or welcome the changes it triggers? Should we be scared of the destruction it can cause or look forward to rebuilding our structure?