Politeness is a value put aside these days. Even those, who claim that they abide by its rules, often seem to forget, what is polite and what is not.
In discussions about current affairs, political situation, possible changes or laws proposed etc., be it in the debating club, a coffee place or in a pub, it is ok to disagree, let the other party know about that and argue passionately about the aspects of the issue.
However when it comes to normal every-day interactions, I get (not sure how to describe the feeling exactly) disgruntled by other people´s need to attack the views of the other person/insist on knowing 100% that someone is wrong/knowing what is right for them and the others etc. Even when talking about some book or a movie, it is rather unnecessary to engage in a conflict - instead of saying "I know you are wrong", why don´t people bother to try to go for the more agreeable "I think it happened differently/In my opinion the zombies tried to eat the heroin´s head because she reminded them of the father that molested them/I don´t think she has apologized for her actions...".
It might sound very weird coming from me, since (at least to some) I seem to be an angry person, who argues about everything. If that is the case, I am sorry for being annoying and/or overbearing.
4 komentáře:
I think that the trick in being really, de facto (as opposed to "formally") polite lies not in vocabulary, but rather in diction. As you girls sometimes say: It's not what you said, it's how you said that.
It is both. The wording of what you say and the diction go hand in hand. If you say really nicely: "You are a disgusting person", it won´t change the message. Just like saying: "You did great" with irony in your voice does not mean that you actually did great.
My point was different - people often don´t bother to be polite and they express their thoughts in a very agrressive manner.
Don´t mistake sincerity for politeness though, there is a significant distinction between the two.
So much so that often you can be either sincere or polite, I dare say :-). But we are probably never gonna agree on this one.
No, obviously we are not. I don´t think being polite means being insincere. You don´t have to share every idea or feeling to be true to yourself and others.
I will admit that there are situations when the easy way out could be a white lie, however I don´t think that it´s the only polite way and I still believe that you can be polite and sincere at the same time.
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